In all the work we do, one thing in particularly stands out: none of us are the same. I know, it seems a pretty obvious statement, but I mean beyond the surface.
We've all heard about figuratively fitting into someone else's box, meaning how we are often expected to conform to another's norm. And it's true in most cases: We expect a level of behaviour from those around us; if someone were to queue jump in Tesco, most of us would have something to say about it. But queuing is obviously not important to them, so in a way we're expecting them to fit into our box, our norm.
Don't get me wrong, people should flipping queue! And not tailgate. And bring up polite kids. And say "Thank You" when you hold open a door for them. But what about the deeper things? When should we stop trying to fit people into our boxes?
This has particularly struck me in recent months as our student mentoring continues to fill a large chunk of our diaries each week. Some of these kids need to learn to behave. Some of them need to go to bed earlier so that they can get up early enough for breakfast and get to school on time with a brain already fed and ready for action. And some need to get off their XBoxes and do their homework! Society would suggest these are pretty normal boxes to fit into that benefit everyone, and I would agree. But what about other things that we consider to be a good fit?
A friend of mine who mentors is seeing a student who is still struggling to cope with the death of a distant relative two years ago. My friend has already been asked to help him "get over it" and "get back into the game" by staff. His response: "I get what the school are trying to do, but it's demanding he be forced into a box that isn't his fit right now". While society would suggest it's time to heal and return to normality (and most of us would be able to), for a minority it isn't the right time. Yet.
I could go on with other examples, but the point has been made. In most things, society's box is a good fit for all of us. But, at times in all of our lives, it's the worst possible fit - and pretty painful trying to squeeze us in. It's crucial then, that we don't make the same mistake with our young people.
It's the same for us as Christians. God made us unique and in His image, we know that. And in the same way, we need to seek what shape God's box is for us, rather than squeeze into ones belonging to others. Perhaps this prayer needs to feature more regularly in our quiet times from now on.
And in so doing perhaps we can be reminded that, while everyone else's boxes are the right shape most of the time, sometimes we just won't fit.
(And I've also learned that students are often talking about themselves when referring to a friend of theirs!)